Breaking the ice

I've been avoiding this blog a while. I've been avoiding it for 3 months. I avoided to post about unexpected meetings of other bloggers such as meeting Childish (MAZAL TOVVVV!!!!) by Moshe's son brith and meeting first blogger in my life (I knew Moshe from long before so it doesn't count), upd Jacob da Jew who helped me to find what I was looking for so much desperately on that day, and getting stuck in the Marriott elevator with Chana. I wanted to post funny keywords people come with to my blog from search. There was my blog's anniversary not so long time ago and I avoided writing about it too.

There been a reason for it and no time for it. Now it's time to break the ice...

This Sunday I also broke the ice - I AM ENGAGED NOW!

To prevent many questions. She's The one. She's Russian (so am I). She's frum for few years, BT. We are same age. We share same views on many things.

I guess that's it for now. :)

Window walking

This will be short. I went to kosher subway today to eat in the sukkah. When I brought my stuff in the sukkah I found that there's a table but no chair. So I walk out the sukkah and go straight to the first chair I see.. Boom! It takes me some moments to realize what has happened... I hear girls sitting in the sukkah burst into laugh. Then I realize that I actually walked into the window instead of the door! Next thing I understand that all peopes' attention is on me now.
It was the first time in my life I've been bleeding from my nose. So was it the time when I realized I don't know how to stop the blood - remember people saying to turn the head up and I remember people saying not to do that.. Boruch Hashem I have high quality blood - I think it took me less than 5 minutes to stop bleeding.
At least I made people laugh and laughed myself with them when I was back in the sukkah.

It reminds me of how I walked into the tree last year. I took few steps back, said "oh, I am sorry!" and only then realized it was actually a tree, not a person :) I didn't hit it that bad though.

So people - don't trust your eyes and always make sure you're going in right direction! A gute moed!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Don't judge me

I hate ranting. I try not to discuss what happens in Jewish world. I ain't an angel myself. If I want to vent there's enough stuff I can vent about myself. But...

But there's one day in the year when I get depressed not because of myself. It's the day when I go buying lulav, esrog and whole lots of stuff related here.

While esrog is what usually makes the price it's pretty easy to get through this challenge. All you have to do is to find an appealing, good looking, right color, nice/ideal form and shape, no black dots, no scratches from leaves, pitim/no pitim and so on. With these simple rules you have almost found good esrog. It's harder to check all boxes and to find one but at least you can take every one and look at it yourself first. After you found something you like, just go to the man checking esrogim and show it to him:

- Ummm, nice esrog! Really perfect one!.. {short pause, looking at esrog with magnifying glass} This would be expensive one, are you ok with budget?
- Yeah, how much is it?
- Where did you find it?
- There {pointing at the box aside from the main table}
- Look, I really can't give it for less that $$
- Sure no problem

This little conversation doesn't take longer than 1 or 2 minutes and both are happy: one got what he was looking for, another sold it for good money and helped a fellow jew.

Now you move to lulavim. The law is the law - don't touch the top two inches or you will have to take it regardless of it's quality. Accepted. You stand aside waiting for your time, not touching anything. Consider these two conversations:

First:
{sales guy stands, holds a lulav in his hands, looks at it's top, looks at your esrog}
- How much are you paying for it?
- $$
- {half second pause} this is a very good lulav {hands you lulav he's holding}
{both are happy - one got what he was looking for, another didn't take much time and helped a fellow jew

Second:
{sales guy stands, holds a lulav in his hands, looks at it's top, looks at you, hands you lulav he was looking at}
- Here's good one for you! It's kosher O-U, O-K, Star-K - it's kosher!
- but...
- Don't look at it too much you'll get ain horah at it!

Obviously every year I get into similar situation described in the second conversation. Both take less than a minute, but second one make's me feel everytime like I am less Jewish than people around me. Look - I am not getting esrog for $10 although even here you can make nice conversation. I am paying $80 which is much higher than regular price in the store ($50-60). I didn't just to be upselled - I am paying for expensive stuff, obviously I don't need anyone to run around me, but at least treat me as everyone else in the store. If I wear jeans and color shirt it doesn't tell you much about me. Well, I can understand you are tired, but I was not hanging out the whole week with girls and going to clubs nor did I not come hour before Sukkos starts - I came in advance and I am also tired, I also just came from work.

What bothers me most is that it doesn't take you much effort to say something nicely, regardless of what you think. It doesn't take you longer either. In fact you may get rid of me faster as I will feel that you didn't just give me the first more or less kosher lulav, but that you gave me something good compared to when you make me feel like I am not given good stuff and you make me want to argue with you!

I just wanted to add that I really feel bad saying all this stuff about a yid, esspecially two days after Yom Kippur, but it's not my fault that Sukkos comes right after it...

Shidduch hiatus

The title says it - I am officially going on shiduch hiatus for uknown period of time.

New year is considered a time for new decisions and while oter ones were easy to go for, decide and even start applying some of them, this one was a much harder one to accept. 

I've been doing very bad from religious standpoint for quite a while with ups and downs but I was not successful at getting on the right track so far. Wishes and thoughts that I will be doing everything right when I find the girl as that will push me to be doing things the right way - that's all just dreams and not a right approach to things.

So it took me 10 days to decide. This means that I will refuse any option except two which are ongoing for the past few month -just because I doubt they will happen anyway. I will also try to shut any talks on this topic directly and indirectly related to me.

Hopefully it won't take me too long to overcome myself, my will and my yetzer but that will not happen tomorrow so all these things tend to cross the line between truth and hypocrisy.

Let's see what will come out of this.

PS. This is my last chance to ask for forgiveness from anyone I have offended anyhow, lied to, said loshon horah about or did something else that I must ask forgieness for. Please forgive me. 
Have an easy (and meaningful) fast! Gmar chatimah tovah!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Older is more attractive or age is out of question

It's been long time since I've noticed for the first time that I get attracted more to girls that are older me than to younger ones. No, I don't discriminate by age, in fact I don't care much if ny wife will be 2 years younger or 3 years older than me if we match in everything else.

However recently I realized that it's not just coincidential that I was interested in few girls that are older than me and in much smaller number of who was younger. Talking to Moshe on IM I named whoever I was able to remember from the top of my hat and it came out as 3:1!!! Seriously I was able to name 6 girls older than me and only 2 younger. Besides that my very first shidduch date was almost year older than I (I didn't count her though).

May be it's a sign?

Superpower Memes follow-up

So over the past week a bunch of bloggers decided to speak up about superpower they would want to have. While some others decided to skip... (this is not a full list so sorry if I didn't link to you)

This erev Rosh Hashonah I was sitting in the bus on my way to Lakewood and I was rethinking many things that happened in the past few days. And for some reason I remembered about superpower memes that were going around.

While it is clear that my superpower was 100% evil driven, most of other people had their wishes based either on simple self-related topics or on better-to-be ones. So I was thinking about bunch of similar better-to-be superpowers which were intended to be able to better understand people, or to know what could hurt someone and get around that and so on. And that brought me to realization why we don't have these simple and so-great-have abilities which we could use everyday for good of the world. Why didn't Hashem give us something what we could use to help people around us, to be better people ourselves? Why did He decide that what we have is good for us and we don't need any better?

I think the answer is simple. Because as we could easily use these powers for good, we would have a bigger yetzer hora pushing us to use there abilities for bad. Do you realize how easy it would be to hurt a person when you know painful topic for them? Do you realize how easy it would be to do so many bad things knowing so much about surrounding us world?

So what I thought was that we should thank Hashem that neither we nor others have these powers that could bring more harm in to this shaky world! Thank You, Hashem, for not letting to sin more by limiting our abilities to what we have!

Must read! Dude's meme about superpower he wants.

Material Madel tagged me so my opus is following

Rule number 1: Read the rules.
Rule number 2: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.
Rule number 3: Write why you chose that super power over everything else.
Rule number 4: Tag and link 7 people, and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.
Rule number 5: fix your broken links.

Here we go:

Rule 1 - check.

Before I start I should mention that MM is really observant about my pic. She says:

Dude with Hat - because with his profile pic, he's already got the whole 'mysterious spy' thing going on - and that intrigues me.

With her help my spy career is now over because you can't be a spy if others know this. Thanks MM! Very generous from you!

Anyway the superpower I really want is to be able to know everything about anyone I want when I want to. I.e. I don't want my head to be piled up with info about everyone. I want info to be well categorized by person, time and action with description/photo/video/audio recording and me to have easy access to this info. For example I could query for what shoes did MM wear yesterday around afternoon? Or why does Bad4 call herself Bad4? (well i know why, but it's still a good example) Or what did Hannah write in her personal paper diary today? Or what did Moshe ate for his lunch on August 5th? (not that I care much, but good example). Or list of all girls from NYC under 23 Altie was hanging out with when she was in Seminary... I think the idea is clear.

And if this whole thing about database is kinda over-thought, knowing stuff about people is real. Some of you know how I've found your home addresses, phone numbers. So don't be shocked if I call you at 3AM or knock on your door at 11PM. I am 99% sure I haven't opened email box of anyone who reads this blog so I am safe to talk about that... But I used to do that too. Stopped last year. Some of you know details.. Looking into other's windows is a really not nice thing to do so I don't have binoculars. But be sure I'll check you out in the mirror reflection of train car window (I am serious!)

Don't ask me though to do that for you - I won't. The only time when I succeed is when I am highly motived to find that info, otherwise I won't find much if person hides well.

Rule 2 - check

Rule 3 - check!

1. Hannah - so what did you write in your private diary today, Hannah?
2. Bad4 - I know already why you call yourself Bad4, but you are too successful with your blog with such bad name, so you are definitely hiding something in your left pocket (which you don't have because you wear skirt :P)
3. MAK - I discovered you too recently to know too much about you, so you still have a chance to do some work for me and prevent me stumbling on things you don't want me to know too well...
4. Moshe - not that I want to know what you ate on August 5th for lunch (and I doubt you remember it), but some things about you are really unclear to me!
5. Something Different - why do I remember about you every time I cross E 12th and Ave M? (I have associative memory so ya know...)
6. The Babysitter - your name suggests that there's some other dark side of you that I don't know about yet... Are you obsessed with robots because it gives you full control over them?
7. Chana - do you have to do anything with Viznitz? Just asking...

Rule 4 - check!

Do I have any broken links? I am lazy, I don't even have a full blogroll, nor do I have a normal link section. So, behold! Point me at broken link and I'll fix it.

Rule 5 - check!