I am a Baal Tshuva, who moved to US around 4 years ago.
I've got my bris when I was 13, started to be Shomer Shabos at the age of 15 (big thanks to my Rov! for this) and started keeping Kosher at the age of 16.
I have never finished any school I attended - I've quited russian public school after 9th grade, russian college after 1st year, high school of Yeshiva R. Chaim Berlin two weeks before graduation. I have never attended real college or university.
My career started when I was 16 as a web developer and system administrator, however having almost no experience I was not very successful in building websites at the beginning. I've learned a lot during the 9 month of working, until I moved to US.
Not to brag, but almost all my experience and knowledge of computers I've got on my own by trying and failing. Or trying and having success.
Right now I work in a small company in the city as a web developer.
I spend at least 15 hours a day, 6 days a week on the Internet and my life stops if I get disconnected.
The only thing I am not successful is at making friends. For 4 years of living in US I've got barely two close friends. By close I understand people you can share your thoughts and problems with, who will listen and try to help you. I beleive that I myself don't fail this criteria, though only people around can say if it's true.
I hate when people get better imagination of me than I am, really not knowing what I am. I hate when they see me once in a while, and then say "oh, he's so great, he'd be a so good husband" or "he's a tzdik, he's always helping people" and so on and so on. It may be true sometimes, but it doesn't mean that that's what I am always. What I mean is only those who know me very close know the reality and even they fail sometimes to realise that many things are happening only because of a habbit, good they or bad.
I like to make presents to people, but very shy at getting ones. I just love seeing people being happy because it makes me happy. Such a way of using people...
This is obviously not my full resume and many things will have to be said, but at least now you'll have some wrong imagination of who I am.
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I thought you were a girl before for some weird reason.
ReplyDeleteVery cool how you were able to do that all on your own.
Your English sounds like it can use a little bit of fixing up.
About the friends, 2 close friends sounds good. If there are too many then they can't be too close.
When people give you compliments, even if you feel it's not the real you they are describing, you should accept it, because it means they like you enough to say that, or they want you to admire them so they are getting on your good side. In either case they mean no harm.
Shavua Tov!
ReplyDeleteHe he, that's probably because I'm following more girls' blogs than guys'. That's true, because I'm not going to follow tech blog which are majority of my subscription list in Google Reader (over 200).
Definitely, just no one currently to help with that.
2 close ones and almost no more.
They may mean no harm, but then people get expectations and when their expectations brake they get very angry because they didn't expect that... It's hard to explain it's something to feel.
I definitely understand the loneliness of having few friends. But over the years I've discovered that often it's quality that counts more than quantity, and while some people need to surround themselves with friends, others can be happy with just one or two really good friends. Unless you count the blogosphere, I'm in the second category. I always used to want to be popular, and then I discovered that my few friends were really great for me and I had no need to go chasing others.
ReplyDelete@Bas~Melech:
ReplyDeleteYou right, but when you sit in the evening of thanksgiving having nothing to do and nowhere to go to be with friends - that's kinda depressing.
that could be why. btw, are you following me on twitter?
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the expectations, then it makes it feel like their disappointed in you, and you let them down. So then I guess you just have to be strong and be honest with yourself, and if you honestly did nothing wrong then you should try not to let it bother you.
I'm not using twitter much recently.
ReplyDeleteI believe that I am pretty much honest with myself even when dreaming :) However second thing is hard sometimes...
ok, cause then I thought I might figure out who you are.
ReplyDeleteyea, it can be hard.
You know you can always come to my crib. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI also hate when someone starts praising me, friends too. I know who I am and I know who I'm not.