Sunday, September 27, 2009

Shidduch hiatus

The title says it - I am officially going on shiduch hiatus for uknown period of time.

New year is considered a time for new decisions and while oter ones were easy to go for, decide and even start applying some of them, this one was a much harder one to accept. 

I've been doing very bad from religious standpoint for quite a while with ups and downs but I was not successful at getting on the right track so far. Wishes and thoughts that I will be doing everything right when I find the girl as that will push me to be doing things the right way - that's all just dreams and not a right approach to things.

So it took me 10 days to decide. This means that I will refuse any option except two which are ongoing for the past few month -just because I doubt they will happen anyway. I will also try to shut any talks on this topic directly and indirectly related to me.

Hopefully it won't take me too long to overcome myself, my will and my yetzer but that will not happen tomorrow so all these things tend to cross the line between truth and hypocrisy.

Let's see what will come out of this.

PS. This is my last chance to ask for forgiveness from anyone I have offended anyhow, lied to, said loshon horah about or did something else that I must ask forgieness for. Please forgive me. 
Have an easy (and meaningful) fast! Gmar chatimah tovah!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. No girls. Good idea. I made the same resolution regarding guys. And I'm not even in shidduchim yet.

    Btw, you do realize you posted this same thing 8 times. Cool iphone.

  2. LOL Dude this posted 8 times! Haha

    But yeah, good decision.

  3. @Altie - good for you! As someone said to me not long so long time ago - may you find it at the right time.
    It had nothing to do with iPhone - some of these post may even been posted from the web (i copied entire text) - blogger had some issues and was returning errors when you tried to post. I didn't check my blog though so i couldn't see it was there 8 times :) Thanks for letting me know, i cleaned the mess now.

    @FrumCurious - yeah blogger was broken for some time.
    I think so too.

    @r. LS is 21-22 considered to be young today?

    @fsf - thanks, I'll try

  4. A lto of people get fed up with shidduchim and take a break - some of them should never have started. (Nothing about you, I'm thinking of a girl I know who said she was taking a break wehn she really shouldn't have ever started.)

  5. 21-22 is not young, I got married at 22. Its about being ready for a lifelong commitment. The shidduch scene is a grind. Take it easy and it just might happen on its own.

  6. You seem to be mistaken about where in all of this yetzer hara is. It's not in you doing/ not doing stuff, it's in your idea about how that affects your marriage.

    If you keep yourself focused on how you do this wrong and that wrong and how you're not 100% perfect and how you don't deserve anything, you'll just end up getting more depressed and doing even less.

  7. @Tzafra - see, in Brooklyn area there's too much of bad influence on kids. The only thing we can do is to try to help them stay away from this influence, but it's not easy at all.

    @Jacob - why is it grind? It has a lot of fun and good experience too.

    @Moshe - i agree. Also I often realize that I am lying to myself in some things, trying to find an excuse for something. Both these things are just hard to overcome especially when you are afraid to make a step which you are not 100% sure is right. I happened to speak to one rav yesterday and we'll see, things may change sometime soon.


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